30 Days to Taming Your Tongue - What you say (and don't say) will improve your relationships by Deborah Smith Pegues
Day Twenty-One - The Self-Absorbed Tongue
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others - Philippians 2:4
Are most of your conversations with others centered on you and your issues? A self-absorbed tongue will surely alienate others as almost everyone desires to be the focus of attention occasionally. trying to have a relationship with a self-absorbed person is like trying to hug a porcupine. Become aware of this character flaw in your communication. Ask God to make you genuinely interested in others.
If you find yourself involved with a self-absorbed person, try asking them to give you some advice or input about an issue that does not involve him. If he attempts to direct the conversation to himself, quickly acknowledge his concern about the matter but change the subject to something that is not about him. For instance, you may say, "I'm sure that this issue really concerns you. Did you hear about...?" If he persists, you would do well to muster the courage to say, "I really don't want to talk about that today." You may need to be a broken record as you attempt these strategies. After all, self-absorption dies hard.
If you admit to being the self-absorbed type, turn your desires for attention, ego boosting, and other selfish needs over to your Heavenly Shepherd, who supplies all your needs. Make a conscientious effort to become "others absorbed." Challenge yourself to go a whole day or more without making your issues the focus of your communication. Give everyone you converse with your full attention, and watch your relationship deepen.
I look not only to my own interests, but to the interests of others. Therefore, my issues are not the primary topic of my conversations.